Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
