Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
do herpes really smell.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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