Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
