you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
