I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
