Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
