Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
