I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
