Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize