They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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