I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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