Don't you send me to vm
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
