Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
