...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
