The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
