Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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