i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Small penises have feelings too.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
