We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
