just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
