he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize