Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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