I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
