hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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