so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
