I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize