That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
