5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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