If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
