Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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