D3 body, D1 cock
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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