so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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