WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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