i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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