You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
