you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
