so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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