You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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