Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
