I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
