8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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