There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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