If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Randomize
