so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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