did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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