This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
