He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
