do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
