Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
