I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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