i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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