if i can run in heels then i can drive
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
