OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
