It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
