i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize