and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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