so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
