FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
