OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
