For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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