ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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