so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
